I was at a house party hosted by my friend here in Perth. It was a potluck party and I have to mention that everyone survived my cooking! We had an excellent dinner and some even more delicious desserts. Then being a connoisseur of wines, he laid out a platter of different kinds of wines and cheese which most of them tasted and appreciated well within decency limits.
Imagine a situation where in a random person at a party goes overboard with the alcohol served to them at the host’s place. I have seen it happen umpteen number of times in parties back home in India. But what surprised me most was that it happened here and sadly the person happens to be from my motherland. There arose a situation where this guy went so drunk that he actually ended up verbally offending the host who had so kindly invited him to his house and who played the role of the host to perfection.
With my limited experience with parties involving alcohol and me being an almost novice when it comes to the subject, I was particularly taken aback at this kind of atrocious behaviour. Even as a child, I was brought up in a way where in, if we were invited to a dinner or a lunch, we had to maintain a decorum which caused the most minimal of inconveniences to the host of the party in their house. I was always expected to lend a hand at any household chores or organisation problems. It has been my duty many a times where I have played the role of the food and beverage manager at our friend’s place during a celebration or event.
Another important lesson I was made sure that I learn to perfection was that if we were invited to a third place like a restaurant and if we had the liberty to order according to our wishes, I would have to pick an item on the menu that would be on the lower spectrum of the price list and that which would cause no monetary burden on the person paying the bill.
The incident that I witnessed a few days back has reiterated my preconceived notion that our country men tend to cross the line when there is free alcohol served. I cannot reason out this kind of behaviour and I am not able to judge whether it happens in other cultures and societies as well. I have being witness to such incidents at home and abroad which had multicultural groups in their invitee lists. Every time I have seen one, it has involved an Indian, which I very painfully have to accept at this point in time.
It boils down in my opinion to the atmosphere in which one has been brought up. It is a perfect reflection of the values and culture of public decorum that has been imbibed in a person as child and adolescent. Some of them perceive that if it is something that you don’t have to pay for, try and misuse it to the highest degree and make the person offering it miserable and kick himself in the room after the party for the mistake he made in inviting the wrong person. What saddens me most is that people in other countries now categorise our men or women as junket seekers and it is a reputation that sticks for life.
I am extremely lucky to have been brought up by fantastic parents who have put some of these important and life saving cultures into my genome. I value those upbringing skills to no end when I am exposed to a western society and culture. It has helped me behave in an acceptable and appreciable manner and being accepted in a culture and society that was alien to me. Looking back at it, it is not rocket science that one needs to know these behavioural skills, but as the saying goes, common sense is not common among all people.
I only hope that I am not witness to incidents like these in the future, where it not only puts the person to shame and ridicule, but the our whole country’s image at black and shatters.
2 comments:
I'd like to beg to differ about only Indians being the ones to splurge when anything is free especially alcohol.
All of you were meeting as students I assume. This is what happens when students have a party. It may be the most civilised group of students that one can find but you always have to make am allowance for the one nuisance for the simple reason that you never know who's bad day it is. The most decent of the lot might behave the most foolish by getting drunk and throwing up. This is true for students in general all over the world and not just Indian ones. At every opportunity some idiots get carried away and act funny. The sad part is that how ever much you try to make it a point to tell them that they did the wrong thing they will never agree.
I do not think that it is a reflection of our culture as a whole. That is blatant generalisation. Then how about you? I am sure you carry yourself exemplarily and are also praised for it.
Yes, there is need to behave properly, maintain decorum and follow etiquette. If it is not taught, it only comes by experience and that comes by interacting and making mistakes in front of cultured people who will show the way by their handling of situations in a dignified manner.
All that I am trying to say is that you make the maximum mistakes when you are students and you learn from them for you cannot make them at a later stage in life and expect to be forgiven. You learn from you peers in college a lot of things and most students pick up only the good bits and try to apply it to their life.
And to my bro Chinmaya, more such reading will give exercise to my soul and mind. Keep going. Let me know about any interesting articles on the Web. Why don't you think of also podacsting? It would also be nice. Keep in touch.
Amogh.
Hey!
I really enjoyed reading this article. Though I am alien to pot luck parties and drink parties, I coould relate to the "putting up with bad behaviour" part. I can understand your angst.
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